DISCLAIMER: First of all, I don't own these characters. They are the property of JMS and whoever else at Babylonian Productions or whatever it's called. I'm not making any money off this, as I said in a previous disclaimer, nobody would pay for this. Let me see. . .oh yeah. I wrote this after seeing a Zest soap commercial on TV. It went something like this: "It's hard to get clean in hard water! And you're in a hard water town!" Kinda scary, I know, but this is what happens when I watch TV while holding a typewriter. This is rather poorly written, it not having been changed after being written on the aforementioned typewriter in front of the aforementioned television. Therefore, it's only saving grace is that it is completely absurd and hopefully you'll find it funny. I do, but I don't know if you will. If you want to post this elsewhere, please email me and ask first. It's [email protected] This also has a sequel, the "Soft Water Story" as it has come to be known, but I have not finished that yet. That one is even more absurd than this one is. (Now you should be really scared. . .)

"NOT HARD WATER!" Marcus Cole shouted. "That’s . . .that’s impossible!"

"But it’s true," Lennier said with a sigh. "Denying it still does not solve the problem. We must work to fix it." Now it was Marcus’ turn to sigh.

"We should inform the Captain."

"No," Lennier said. "We needn’t bother captain."

"Very well," Marcus said softly. "But we should go to maintenance." Lennier nodded.

"That is the prudent course of action at this time. I will speak with the head of maintenance."

"I will inform Delenn," Marcus mentioned.

"Let us not involve the Ambassador prematurely. We do not want to worry her any more than she is already." To this, Marcus agreed.

Later, Marcus and Lennier met. "Maintenance will be around later to try to take care of our problem," Lennier told him as the door chime sounded and Captain Sheridan entered the room.

"I hear there is a problem. I just came to let you know that the maintenance crew will be here shortly and hopefully the problem will be obliterated." Marcus nodded as the maintenance techs entered the room and went over to a bulkhead. Opening it, they tapped a pipe inside. The pipe suddenly burst and water began rushing into the room; HARD WATER! Sheridan grabbed Lennier’s arm and tried to pull him out as the water gushed into the room. Lennier was in the hallway when Sheridan went back to help the maintenance techs. He grabbed one while Marcus had grabbed the other. They were all "safe" in the hallway before Sheridan tried to decided what to do. It was a deadly situation, he knew. Suddenly, water began seeping out of the room underneath the door. Sheridan began to get nervous. It was hard water, and heading right towards them! Marcus frowned.

"Captain, we can’t get away. These two are injured too badly for us to move with any speed." Sheridan frowned, understanding he had to do something. He tapped his link.

"Michael, we have an emergency situation. Hard water, leaking out of Mr. Lennier’s quarters. Hurry!!!"

Garibaldi came, and the problem was contained eventually, but the repercussions of this incident were long in vanishing. The two maintenance workers injured survived and the mess in Lennier’s quarters was eventually cleaned up. However, the problem still remains, contained in the lower levels of the station.